Looking Back at the Boy I Needed Too Much

nayabaweez.files.wordpress.com
nayabaweez.files.wordpress.com

Codependency. It may seem romantic, needing someone every second of the day. But it’s not. It’s dangerous. It can strip you of who you are at your core and turn you into someone else.

When I was in grade 12, I became infatuated with a boy. He seemed to fill in all of my gaps, and because of this, I always needed him around. I couldn’t do anything or be anywhere without him. He felt like the puzzle piece I thought I was missing.

He used to stay with me in the library after school until it came time to catch the bus to work. He used to tell me to text him when I got to work, so he could make sure I was safe. I always did. He had this way of making me feel safe.

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“On Fleek?”

 

gurl.com
gurl.com

It is most commonly used to describe one’s eyebrows.

It is commonly used to describe one’s appearance.

It is commonly used, well, for pretty much everything.

“On fleek” is one of those generation words. I’d argue it’s what “groovy” was in the ‘70s or what “coolio” was in the 2000s.

It was first used in a sentence by Vine personality Peaches Monroee. Monroee declared her eyebrows “on fleek” and the world caught on. Every teenager I know says it.

Now, if you are like me and constantly yearning for the world’s old ways, you probably hate the phrase.

Long gone are the days when people said to their significant other, “Darling, you look exquisite,” or, “Oh my, does that chunky knit scarf ever bring out your eyes!”

Now, it’s, “Damn girl, you be lookin’ on fleek! Come here and give bae some love,” or, the more popular, “Daaaang, your eyebrow game is on fleek today!”

Quick suggestion: let’s retire the phrase.

Sure, Peaches Monroee may have been hit with a wave of confidence and felt the need to make a six-second Vine clip. Unfortunately, the phrase lasted a little longer than six seconds. And I’m just sort of done with it.

Peaches Monroee, we thank you for your contributions to 2015 slang, but, along with phrases like “bae”, “turnt”, and “yaaas”, could we please leave the phrase behind?

Just a thought.

Moving Out, Growing Up and Adulthood

gailvazoxlade
gailvazoxlade

Breaking out of the cocoon of teenagehood and spreading your awkward adult butterfly wings can happen so fast. Through this process, it is encouraged (and sometimes expected) to let go of your dependency on your parents. Whether it’s money, housing, or general support, becoming an adult means becoming independent.

I am not ready for that.

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Me, Him and The Phantom Love Syndrome

naijastories.com
naijastories.com

When my co-worker told me that he could take my shift so long as I bought him a beer, I knew he had an ulterior motive. But I agreed to it.

Sure enough, it was his way of tricking me into a date. His asking me to go for a beer meant that we could speak one-on-one without the eyes of our coworkers judging, questioning, or assuming.

I didn’t know how to react to him asking me out, so I asked my mom what she thought. She told me that I should nowhere in the text message mention that I hate beer.

“Give him a chance—he seems sweet! Realistically, what else are you doing?” Dammit, Ma, look at what you got me into…

Our “date” came to an end. I drank two virgin Shirley Temples and listened to his combination of scheming pickup lines and flattering compliments.

But then he said, “I think you’re beautiful and really fun to hang out with. I wouldn’t ask you this if I didn’t have a really good time tonight…” He licked the residual beer foam off of his glass and looked up. “Would you want to take this further?” I knew it. All this time, he just wanted to sweet talk me into bumpin’ uglies with him.

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