Codependency. It may seem romantic, needing someone every second of the day. But it’s not. It’s dangerous. It can strip you of who you are at your core and turn you into someone else.
When I was in grade 12, I became infatuated with a boy. He seemed to fill in all of my gaps, and because of this, I always needed him around. I couldn’t do anything or be anywhere without him. He felt like the puzzle piece I thought I was missing.
He used to stay with me in the library after school until it came time to catch the bus to work. He used to tell me to text him when I got to work, so he could make sure I was safe. I always did. He had this way of making me feel safe.
Last year, I got into the show How I Met Your Mother. The show is basically a story about a guy, named Ted, who sits his kids down to tell them the “long story” of how he and their mother met. I’ve been binge-watching the past eight seasons, and I’ve totally misjudged the level of awesomeness that the cast and the writers are on. The way they tie things together throughout the seasons is mind bogglingly brilliant. I’ve realized something about Ted though. I think Ted had to go through the journey that he went through to get to a place where he was mature enough to be in the kind of relationship that he and the mother have.
I bring them up in a post like this because I’ve learned something from that show, and it’s something I was told years ago, but never really listened to. It’s this:
“Everything has a season.”
My parents used to say that to me all the time, and it’s something I seem to find true. I firmly believe that everything happens when it needs to happen, and wasting time worrying about something (or someone) not being in our lives does nothing for us but cause unnecessary stress. There is a time to be single, and there is a time to be in a relationship, and while neither option is entirely perfect, both are important parts of our lives that co-exist, on some level, for some reason.
I am so sick and tired of seeing people feel bad about their singleness (this goes for me too). I can’t count the number of times when I’ve had the following conversation,