Why All-Nighters Suck

All-nighters are like a bad hangover. You tell yourself you won’t, yet when the time comes, there you are, doing what you said you wouldn’t do. Plainly put: all- nighters suck.

I’m in my third year of university and I still haven’t figured out why at least once a semester (doesn’t matter what courses I take), I find myself pulling an all-nighter. Do I lack self-control and an effective schedule? Yeah, probably. Will I change? Maybe—fourth year—fingers crossed.

I’ve never enjoyed an all-nighter; they’re not meant to be enjoyed. They’re a terrible way to do… anything. So, from one disgruntled student in the middle of an all-nighter herself, here are five blunt reasons why all-nighters suck:

Reason 1: You look like cow poop.

I say this with love, I swear! This whole post is one big verbal hug! But seriously, after an all-nighter, your face looks like cows took turns using your face as a toilet.  You have on yesterday’s makeup, you’re wearing yesterday’s clothes, and for some reason your face has aged 10 years. All because you didn’t sleep.


Reason 2: Everything is really funny.

This may not seem like a bad thing, and it isn’t. Until your friend tells you about how they failed their test. They argue that they “do, do all the work.” Then it happens. Because you have no filter and because you don’t have self- control, you burst out laughing. Why? Because they said, “Do, Do.”  Yes. That’s your reasoning. Suddenly you’re the jerk.


Reason 3: You get really emotional.

Maybe this is just me, but when I’m really tired, I have mood swings and little things upset me. I once found myself crying over a bright red leaf because I wondered if it felt lonely in a tree of muddled brown leaves. My friend asked me if I was okay, and I actually tried to justify my feelings. Yeah… she didn’t buy it.  I swear I’m not overly emotional… but that damn leaf though…


Reason 4:  You seem like an idiot the next day.

When I’m tired, poles seem to find me. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve walked past the same places, I will walk right into the darn structure and will be thoroughly shocked that the pole – the same pole that’s there every day – is… still there. I also zone out easily. It doesn’t matter how interesting a conversation is, when I’ve pulled an all-nighter, I will seriously forget where I am, how I got there, and where I’m going, with or without coffee.


Reason 5:  Your sleep patterns go to hell.

I realize that the sleep pattern of most college students is already crappy, but all-nighters just throw you for a loop.  If you’ve pulled an all-nighter, you might come home, and sure you’ll go to bed, but then you’ll wake up at some next hour. For me, it takes me a week to get over one all-nighter. I have no idea how some people pull two or more in one week. I vote: “they’re lying.”


Bottom line: Even though pulling an all-nighter seems like a good idea, it isn’t.

Knowing this, will I change?

Probably not.