I’m a Raving Bore

 

Let’s rewind to my freshman year – September 5th 2012 to be precise. It was the busiest day of Frosh week and I had attended a whopping half an hour out of the entire eleven-hour schedule.

Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy meeting new people – just not in forced program-specific groups, exchanging information about our hobbies and home countries. Unlike my enthusiastic fellow-froshies, I was the perfect blend of awkward and lazy. Group workshops, icebreakers and cheer competitions? I’ll pass.

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For this reason, I decided to go only to the last event of the night – Apocalypta Pub or First Pub (which ever one it was called). Apart from the fact that I had friends attending, a party is, in my opinion, a better way to socialize.

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So I curled my hair and put on a skirt and headed out to the Blind Duck with the few friends I’d made. I couldn’t wait to pump my fists to generic house music all night long.

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The pub was packed with college stereotypes as expected (the newbies, the party animals, the bombshells, the dancers–you name it). Fluorescent lights bounced around as I squeezed my way into the crowd *cue universal party head-bob*.

To my utter dismay, there was actually no house music (not even Top 40 – just a DJ dropping the beat one too many times). My lack of enthusiasm made it hard to keep up with the constant wub-wub-wub coming from the speakers. As much as I tried to keep my energy going, I couldn’t (can you tell that I really don’t like dupstep?).

To top it off, the twerking, the bar, and the walls became painfully obvious once I stopped dancing.

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I finally came to terms with the fact that I was bored.

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By midnight, I retired my party animal façade. First Pub turned out to be nothing but a sweaty space filled with frisky teens discovering the human anatomy. I slipped my stilettoes off and walked back to Oscar Peterson Hall.

It turned out that not everyone had crippling FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) when I arrived – there were way more non-party goers than I expected.

As I walked through the hallways of the third floor, I came across a couple of others that shared my grief about First Pub. I smiled, knowing I wasn’t the only disappointed froshie.

When I arrived in my room, I jumped into my polka-dot onesie and collapsed onto my bed. I was back in my natural habitat.

I grabbed a bag of Zesty Cheese Doritos and spent the night re-watching Mean Girls.

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