The Anti-Bucket List



There’s certainly been a lot of talk about bucket lists in the past. Everyone’s always raving about skydiving and donating hair and cross-country road trips. Don’t get me wrong, the idea of a bucket list is truly inspiring, but today I’d like to make a list that documents the flipside. The following are some of the things I’d rather die than do before I die. Hopefully you can relate to some of them.

I will never:

1)   Own a bird. This is a trivial one that probably no one is going to be able to understand, but I legitimately cannot stand birds – they mortify me. Ask anyone I know.

2)   Be on the providing end of anonymous hate (or any kind, really). I’ve only recently been enlightened about the heartbreaking impacts of bullying and online hate, but I vow to never ever partake in anything of the sort.

3)   Eat a bull’s testicles or frog legs (and the like): Some of you are probably wondering what ‘and the like’ entails and for me it’s really anything outside of poultry, fish and beef. While I fully acknowledge and encourage multicultural delicacies and exotic meals, I’d probably have to (respectfully) decline any offers to ingest them.

4)   Shame someone for being different. Does this one need an explanation with the kind of world we live in today? It really is high time we moved past issues of the sort.

5)   Not defend animal rights. Just thinking about this one is messing me up. Something that drives me absolutely bat sh*t crazy is animal cruelty. I have absolutely zero tolerance for it and constantly try to fight it as best I can.

6)   Be ‘too old’ for my childhood obsessions. I don’t care how “grown up,” successful, or feeble I get – if there ever comes a day where Willy Wonka, Matilda, or Harry Potter (note: this list is not all-inclusive), don’t spark something inside of me, just knock me out cold.

7)   Forget the importance of love in life. I’m not just talking about the romantic kind – I’m talking about warmth. Warmth for my family and friends and strangers and animals… For everything. It’s priceless and irreplaceable.

8)   Lose the ability to be passionate. I once read that you cannot be successful at something unless you are passionate about it. All I have to say is ‘Amen.’

9)   Read 50 Shades of Grey: It just isn’t going to happen. Sorry, girls.

At nineteen, I have a long and winding journey to experience before this list is even close to conclusive, and I expect a lot more to be added on to this list in the coming years.

In the meanwhile, if you have something you’ll never be caught doing, let us know below!