writing

Why Social Media Kinda Sucks Sometimes

Michelle Bonsu

 

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I used to wish that I lived in the ’90s. Everything I cherished, adored, and stanned for were from the ’90s: Ghost World, My So-Called Life, Sex and the City, Before Sunrise, Degrassi, plaid. Everything. Of course, my romanticized vision of that decade was influenced by the multitude of ’90s television shows, movies, and pop culture I consumed throughout my teenage years. In the media I consumed, everything seemed so much better, easier, simpler. But, the main thing that attracted me to the ’90s, aside from the fact that all my pop culture faves existed in that decade, was that social media did not exist.

I was talking to my sister recently and she asked me if I would attend my high school reunion. I immediately replied “no” because…what for? It wouldn’t be like in the ’90s where you’d spot Ashley at the mall, then squeal and hug each other because you hadn’t seen her since graduation 20 years ago. I still see my peers. On Facebook. On Twitter. On Instagram. What would we talk about that we already didn’t know from social media? I mean, I know what post-secondary school they attend, what job they have, and even what they had for lunch the other day.

And it’s this sense of hyper-connection, this sense of being plugged in 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, that I wanted to escape from in my teenage years when I longed to live in the 1990s. I wanted to travel back to a time where you could meet a stranger on a train and instead of having your eyes glued to a screen, you’d strike a conversation, bond over shared interests and then wander the streets of Vienna talking about life. But as I’ve grown and matured, I realize that this yearning was a result of a very romanticized and narrow picture of the 1990s. These movies and shows only showed a facet of life. And these glimpses are questionable because, as we all know, the media does not have the best track record when it comes to depicting reality. Also, most of these media that I consumed were from the perspective of white, middle-class people. My experiences would definitely be a lot different in the 1990s as a black woman.

But… I have to admit, I still long for simpler times. Not necessarily the ’90s, or any other decade for that matter—I just long for a time when social media isn’t such a dominant part of my life. I’m constantly on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, YouTube—you name it. And it’s not always just for fun. Sometimes I need social media to interact with classmates about a group project or to communicate with colleagues for work purposes. It’s not just social media (although the majority of the time I spend on the computer is dedicated to it), it’s the Internet as a whole. I live on the Internet. My life is the Internet. In some ways, I love these spaces. These spaces have broadened and continue to broaden my social awareness and consciousness. I love being part of a community of feminists and womanists on Tumblr. I love reading my Twitter timeline on Thursday nights when Scandal is on television. I love that I can keep up with things that matter to me through my page feed on Facebook. And I love that YouTube introduced me to a variety of quality web series that feature people who look like me.

But social media, for all its perks and benefits, can also be very isolating. Scrolling through Instagram or Facebook can trick you into thinking that everyone is off in Hawaii living a fabulous life while you, the loser, sit in a darkly dimmed room watching them have the time of their lives on a 5” by 2” screen. In my daily life, I probably communicate with human beings 80% through social media and 20% through face-to-face interaction. This places me in a weird space where I feel as if I don’t have any authentic connections with people because our connections only exist in a “superficial” realm situated in the World Wide Web. And this creates, for me at least, a false sense of closeness, which can be very lonely and depressing.

I no longer wish to live in the ’90s but man, I sure love how Angela could just meet up with Rayanne and Rickie without having a million conversations about it beforehand on Facebook.

Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m just a loser. But I can’t be the only one that feels this way… Right?

What Does Mental Health Mean to You?

Marium Faisal

 

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Mental illnesses come in all shapes and forms, from the anxiety monster troubling your brain before an exam to a complex chemical imbalance that goes by the name depression. It’s true that the stigma associated with mental disorders is slowly being eradicated, but so much of society still views mental disorders as something within our control or something logical and easy to solve. So much of society sweeps mental illnesses under the rug labeled “crazy” and so much of it has been buried with the phrase, “you’re just overreacting”. What people don’t realize is that the more you repress a disease without treating it, the stronger it will come back.

Being in the academic system for quite a while, anxiety has become second nature not only for myself but also for so many of you. Being told you’re a great student all your life, only to end up procrastinating due to being a perfectionist who is afraid of failing and getting average grades, really internally frustrates you to the point where you’re hardly making it. I know how hard it has been for me in the past year moving to Canada from a completely different education system. Not only was I in my last year of high school, but I was applying to universities too, which meant I had to adjust in this foreign system, make no mistakes, and continue my streak of grades good enough to get into the top universities here—the pressure was unforgivable. Having three panic attacks in the span of a few months took a toll on my mental health—I couldn’t get out of bed to study, I was depressed beyond understanding, every day ended in tears and the next day went by slower than the last… In the end however, you begin to latch onto the smallest of positive outcomes, no matter how insignificant it may seem to others.

In Canada, suicide accounts for 24% of all deaths among 15-24 year olds, which is unfortunately a pretty big number. The reason for this ranges from suppressing internal struggles due to societal pressure to bullying, harassment, academic pressure, etc.

Bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, depression, and anxiety are just a few of the diseases that plague so many of us today. The worst feeling comes with not knowing why you’re feeling hopeless or upset or hollow; it comes with time passing so slowly coupled with your movements being twice as lethargic and lagged. But all people want to know is why? If we all had the answer to that, we would be well on our way, as far from disorders as possible; however, it is not socially acceptable to lie in bed all day because you cannot find any strength in you to push yourself out of bed. It is not socially acceptable to hand in a paper late and not lose 5% because your fingers couldn’t understand your brain. You must mask your symptoms in order to function in the outside world.

The treatment for mental health needs to become better than what is feebly offered to us right now. Research into mental health problems should be just as rigorous as research for cancer—it should be given its due diligence. A balance needs to be constructed between being told you’re overthinking your own illness and having it glorified to the point that all everyone is interested in is being your saviour. It is not a problem to be solved overnight—I am still learning how to not let it control me. It requires patience and understanding from those who are willing to stay and help.

Please Don’t Read Me

Kimberly Johnson

 

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I have one of “those faces”. I feel like recently in particular, I’ve had to say to people, “No, don’t worry. It’s just my face.” See, I have chronic “bitch-face”. It suuuuucks.

What’s bitch-face?

Well, beloved reader, bitch-face is basically when someone constantly looks like they want to drop kick a baby off the Grand Canyon while eating ice cream. Or, to put it to you this way, you know your face during traffic in the second hour when you’ve given up? Yeah, that face—that’s bitch-face. It’s having that face constantly—when you’re happy, sad, angry, very tired, and usually when you forget to have an external emotional reaction to something.

It never used to bother me until one night when my brother was talking to me about his relationship. I must have looked disinterested, because he looked at me finally and said, “You don’t actually care do you?” To be honest, it was an emotionally charged conversation and I did care, but I was thinking mostly about how to respond and forgot to actually do that.

I realize this makes me sound like a robot, and I’ve actually been called that before by people that still love me, but that’s—I guess, in a way—what bothers me about it. See, I joke about bitch-face a lot, but I really do mean it when I say it’s just my face. I’m terrible to read, because I’m an introvert and because I’m not good at expressing my feelings externally. Now, that doesn’t mean I don’t feel things. It just means I don’t like to put my emotions on display. I don’t cry in public, I don’t yell right away when I’m angry, and I don’t always say, “I love you”. I feel like I don’t show enough excitement because I don’t flail about screaming, and I don’t know why I am the way that I am, but I know that if I’m going to be that person that’s okay with who they are, then this is a part of me that I need to be okay with. And for me that’s really hard—in fact, it’s probably the thing I struggle with the most, that I’m willing to admit.

So, reader, I don’t know if this is a rant, or a plea or something else, but I do know that I don’t like being read, solely because I feel like most people get it wrong. I do feel things—a lot of things—but on a very private level. I do believe that I’m not the only person that’s like this. I think we all have private and public selves, but some people are just better at expressing themselves than I am. I do think that we have to be okay with who we are, even if it’s not something that’s easy to be okay with and, in a way, maybe for all of us, that’s our struggle.

Your Passion Has Limits: A Fanboy’s Reflection on Overstepping Communal Boundaries

Darren Clift

 

Being an unashamed comic book and superhero enthusiast, I have had a multitude of experiences with other devoted fans of pop cultural phenomena (as you would know if you read my previous blog post). Attending Toronto’s Fan Expo has become an end of summer tradition for me, an occasion that necessitates me to cosplay as some obscure character from the pages of a comic book. So yeah, I fit the “fanboy” profile quite snugly.

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A Ticket to Wonderland

Suraya Mahamod

 

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Ever feel like getting away from life? But can’t afford a plane ticket?

We all have a place we go to when life gets overwhelming and if you haven’t discovered that place, I hope you find it. For me personally, when I’m overwhelmed, tired, and discouraged, I try to read something to distract myself. However, not just any book—I read a book about another world, another life, where chivalry still exists but women are strong and independent; a book where the characters are so human you believe they exist and are living amongst us. I try to think about the character’s life, the character’s difficulties, and understand how they overcome their troubles. As odd as this must sound, my sanctuary in books is not for escapist reasons but for relation, perspective, and wisdom. I’ve learned through books that even the villain has a story, that every character has some sort of difficulty—it makes me think of my life and the problems I must overcome. Sometimes, we are so consumed in our problems and our lives that we forget that a world of people exist around us, a world where other people may be experiencing the exact same troubles we are. Whoa, I know that was some deep stuff. What can I say? I like books.

*shoulder shrug*

A book that I hold close to my heart—or rather, a book series—is the Shatter Me series by Tahereh Mafi. This book changed my life—I know that’s epic, but it was written so beautifully, so genuinely; I believed that I was the main character and in some aspects we were quite similar.

“I spent my life folded between the pages of books.
In the absence of human relationships, I formed bonds with paper characters. I lived love and loss through stories threaded in history; I experienced adolescence by association. My world is one interwoven web of words, stringing limb to limb, bone to sinew, thoughts and images all together. I am a being comprised of letters, a character created by sentences, a figment of imagination formed through fiction.”
― Tahereh Mafi, Shatter Me

In high school, I found it difficult to form strong ties with people—I felt odd and out of place and often felt like no one understood me. I pushed people away, like my family members, and pushed pieces of myself to the far corners of my mind. It wasn’t a great place to be. So one day I found this book and the main character was this broken, isolated girl that was scared of who she might be and who she would become. I was terrified of who I may become and if I would make it to university, so I read to look for relation, for some sort of understanding, for myself through Juliette’s eyes. I found that I should stop worrying and stop pushing people away to accept my life and myself. To be a little odd because I was a book nerd, and oddness surrounds us like oxygen. I learned that I should wake up, to “ignite”,  to start living life with vigor and hope and strength. I accepted who I was after this book series, and until this day, my favourite word is ignite.

When I’m feeling sluggish and discouraged, I tell myself to ignite, to spark a wild flame, to open my closed eyes, to breathe in, to wake up, to live my life because life is so short, and I must make the most out of my time on earth. I love, love, love this book and have worn out the pages with my continuous reading of it.

Anyway, that is my sanctuary, and what I love most about it is that once I crawl out of my hobbit hole and face my life, I can admit where I have gone wrong and apologize for my sour behaviour. I have a moment of clarity of understanding and responsibility. I try to change myself after taking that needed break from life—I try to be better somehow, some way.

“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies, said Jojen. The man who never reads lives only one.”

― George R.R. Martin, A Dance with Dragons

How To: Survive Group Projects

Christine Sharma

 

I hate group projects.

Apparently, group projects are supposed to “lessen your load” and give you “teamwork experience” and help you “learn from each other”.

But when you’re dealing with other group mates, that’s not always the case. There will be someone who is completely unresponsive, doesn’t do any work, and doesn’t show up for group meetings, and still gets their name on the assignment. Next, there’s the person who tries to take charge entirely and do everything on their own, and sometimes the group will let this person do all of the work. And then there’s that one person whom you kind of feel bad for because they try to contribute, but most of their work is wrong.

Or maybe I’m just a control freak.

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It’s a ‘Marvel’ous Time to Love Heroes!

Darren Clift

 

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Gadzooks! If you’re not already a fan of the Marvel Cinematic universe, there’s no better time than now to become one! Last week, Avengers: Age of Ultron leaked in all of its glory, showcasing the despair and hardship that faces our favourite team of cinematic heroes. Personally, the shot of Iron Man and the Hulk facing off was all it took for me to say, “Marvel, just take my ______ money!” (Feel free to use your imagination there). Seriously, if you haven’t checked it out, go do it now! As if the hype weren’t huge enough already for fans, Marvel announced on Tuesday the full lineup of their next phase of movies… and it’s a doozy! If you don’t know who Black Panther, Captain Marvel, Doctor Strange, and the Inhumans are now, you will in the next five years! Geeks everywhere are surely having “nerdgasms” right now, and I’m no exception. Witnessing Benedict Cumberbatch monologue and cast spells as Doctor Strange in 2016…awesome!

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